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HOW TO HELP YOUR CHILD IF HE/SHE IS BEING BULLIED

When my nine-year-old son’s best friend Michael (not his real name), normally a very healthy child, started having recurring sore throats, his Mother grew concerned and took him to the Doctor. When the Doctor could find nothing wrong with him, Michael confessed to his parents that he had lied about being sick because he didn’t want to go to school. When they questioned him further they were shocked to find out that their son was the victim of a bully. Michael’s parents were especially surprised to find that the bully was someone their son had once considered a friend.

Children who are being bullied are often more likely to suffer from depression and low self-esteem. They may fake being sick as in Michael’s case and not want to attend school. Even worse the child may entertain thoughts of suicide.

Children do not usually tell their parents when they are being bullied. Usually it is because they are embarrassed or scared because of threats from the bully that they will suffer the consequences if they tell anyone. If your child tells you he is being bullied it is very important that you take him seriously.

IF YOUR CHILD IS BEING BULLIED

• Be supportive and get as much information as you can from your child, what tactics were used and an idea of how often the bullying is occurring.
• Do not tell your child to ignore what is happening to him this could exacerbate the problem. If your child could ignore the bully he would have done so already.
• Never ask your child if he did something to deserve the bullying.
• Find out if other children or adults witnessed the bullying.
• Never criticize how your child handles the bullying situation.
• Never encourage your child to retaliate; two wrongs do not make a right and if the bullying is happening at school your child may be suspended or expelled.
• It is imperative that you contact your child’s teacher and Principal.
• Do not contact the parents of the bully as this could make matters worse. The Principal or school official should contact the bully’s parents.
• Work with the school to find a solution to the bullying problem.
• Once the school has been notified keep tabs on the situation by having regular conversations with your child to see if the bullying has stopped. If it hasn’t stopped notify the school again.
• Do all you can to develop your child’s positive attributes. This may help him feel more confident when he is around his peers.
• Teach your child how to stay safe. Show them what to do and where to go when they feel threatened by a bully. Make sure your child knows that they can come to you if they are bullied and it is not tattling.

Parents should also keep in mind that bullying could take many forms other than physical abuse. Teasing or name-calling or even sending abusive messages by phone or email is also considered bullying and must be taken seriously. Always emphasize with your child, explain to them that bullying is not right and you are proud of them for having enough courage to come to you.

By Monicka

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