SLOW DOWN AND SMELL THE FLOWERS

Do you find yourself rushing with your children – hurrying to get them ready for school, finding time short when you are ferrying them to the next social engagement or extra-curricular activity? You're not alone! In these competitive days we often feel like we have to work 10 hour days just to keep up … and sometimes we feel our kids have to study equally hard – or learn the piano – or practice a sport – or learn an extra language – or all of these - to compete with their peers. Sometimes it's hard to escape the belief that if we don't push our kids hard, "encourage" them with 101 structured activities, then we are "letting them down" … that it will be all our fault if they fail to achieve their full potential.

But what about unstructured time? What about the value of a child taking things slow and having the space to think about what they are learning as they go through their day? How do children really learn? Is incessantly providing new stimulation and new learning experiences truly the best thing we can do for them, or do they need time off – time to assimilate what they have learned, ponder the world around them and draw their own conclusions about life by unhurried observation before launching into the next activity?

Regular rest periods and plenty of unstructured time are essential for the proper growth of a child's mind and body. Children naturally learn through play rather than through lectures and note taking! In our hurried society children commonly develop disorders normally associated with stressed adults – insomnia, chronic head and stomachaches, eating disorders and depression. Sleep deprivation is common in even small children, with a whole raft of consequences (watch out for our article, coming soon, on helping your child get a good nights' sleep).

Too much TV is another culprit that takes away rest and relaxation from our kids. It teaches them that free time should be spent sitting passively in front of a screen and being entertained without using their brain. Kids who watch too much TV usually have trouble with creative thinking and enjoying their own company – playing on their own for instance. It's just that they are out of practice.

Why not limit TV so that your kids watch it when there is something really special on that interests them – rather than it being a default nanny as soon as school or ballet or music class or sport is over. If they complain that they are "bored" without it, you could reply, "That's great! You have some 'me' time to spend with just you. I'm sure you'll find something really nice to do!" Maybe it's time to put aside our "wasting time" mentality and consider for a moment whether there is value for your child in staring out of the window at the clouds … daydreaming on his bed … playing quietly in her room with nothing but a doll and her imagination … doodling abstractly with a crayon … or creating mud pies in the back yard.

Why not give it a try? Give your children more free time and see what happens. Chances are you will find a more relaxed, rounded and happier kid on your hands.

"Leisure" by W. H. Davies
What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

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SLOW DOWN AND SMELL THE FLOWERS